"A Grief Observed" Chapters 3-4/Cemetery

Going to the cemetery this morning was better than I expected. Not that I went in with low expectations, I just didn't think I would get out of it what I did. Walking around for 40 minutes brought to light things about the dead I had never really thought of. I thought about things like, these people all had lives and all that's left to their life is a name and date on a tombstone. And on that tombstone is a dash between their birth and death. That dash represents their life. I couldn't help but think, "Wow, that's what I'm going to be remembered as...a dash."

In reading the last two chapters I kept going back and forth from anger to sadness. As he was thinking of H throughout his writing, I thought of my mom while reading this. Reading what he thought opened up a lot in me of what I thought, but had never said out loud. It made me angry to wonder why God would do this. Why wouldn't he at least let her live a little longer so I could have more memories of her. I was six, but I still had an inkling of knowledge that she may not be here forever. As did C.S. Lewis. It's really not fair to take a parent from a child is it? Or even a wife from a husband? I know God has His reasons that we don't understand, but can't He at least help us out with understanding it? It felt nice reading this because it was like talking to someone who knows how I feel. He understands that no matter how long after the death, there will still be times of sadness. However, it will also get easier to not be angry all of the time and think of the good times. In the end, even though I didn't get all the answers I wish I could, (I don't think he did either) I know for sure God is in control and one day I will find out why death had to happen like this.